Castiel's Dream
by Lahtraya Obsidian Moon
Summary: AU Castiel is in love with Dean but the feeling isn't mutual. So the angel looks for a way to change that. Rated M for later chapters. Smut warning as well. There will be slash !
1. Chapter 1

AU. Castiel is in love with Dean but the hunter doesn't feel the same way and Cas just can't look at him without being able to have him any more. So the angel avoids his charge as much as possible, until he finds an object that could change his world forever.

Castiel's Dream.

Chapter One.

Another torturous day…hunting with the Winchesters. Torture for Castiel at least, being so close to Dean yet knowing the hunter saw him as nothing more than a friend. Having to watch him flirt with anything in a skirt that crossed their paths was becoming too much for Cas to bare. He had looked into the hunters mind searching for even the slightest hint of affection and found none. Well not the kind he had hoped so desperately for. Castiel felt ignored, depressed and so very alone. He did the only sensible thing he could do, he left.

One minute Castiel was sitting in the diner with them a pained expression on his that only Sam seemed to notice then poof, he was gone. The hunters exchanged a 'what the' look but chalked it up to the angel being called away. Three weeks and several unanswered calls for Cas to help them had them very worried. So Sam did the only thing he could think of, he grudgingly called Gabriel.

"Uh Gabe I need to talk to you" he prayed.

"So finally you need me hay Sammy?" said Gabe with a mischievous grin.

Sam groaned inwardly but said "Where's Cas? Is he ok?".

Gabriel frowned "You mean you don't know? Cassie's gone missing. Non of us can find him and I'm really starting to worry, more now that I know you two have no idea where he is either. When did you see him last?" he replied.

"About three weeks ago, he just popped out and we haven't seen him since. Shit, Gabe. What's going on?" said Sam.

Gabriel shook his head "No idea Sam. Cassie had been upset for awhile but wouldn't even tell me why. This could be very bad Sam, we have to find him" replied the angel.

"Yeah of course. Anything Dean and I can do just let us know ok" said Sam.

"I will, see you soon Sammy" and with that Gabriel vanished.

Castiel sat curled up in a tight ball, crying. He didn't want to exist any more not without Dean. It just hurt to much. He didn't understand why his father would allow him to feel such things for the older hunter but not give similar feelings to Dean. What had he done to deserve such emptiness. He felt hollow, dry and burning inside. So much hurt, sorrow and anguish welled up inside the angel that he threw back his head and screamed "WHY?".

No answer and Castiel went back to sobbing. All the angel wanted to do was die, not in his vessel but in his true form which would be the end of the angel known as Castiel. If he couldn't have Dean he didn't want anything. Nothing would be better than the agony he felt now.

A sob filled "Dean" fell form the angels lips and he wept uncontrollably.

TBC…


	2. Chapter 2

Castiel's Dream.

Chapter Two.

He had no idea how he'd gone from sitting to curled up on his side nor did he know how long he'd been hidden away for. He didn't even care. His vessel was cold but he didn't care. He had run out of tears and didn't care. He was numb all the way through, all hope gone. Any dream of being with the man he loved dead. A shell of an angel cowers from the world, from heaven, from the pain. One word, husked in a broken voice…Dean, flowed from his lips over and over and over again. No one will ever know if his current state caused or allowed what happened next. Light suddenly flooded Cas's hiding place, he blinked several times as it had been six weeks since he'd seen any light. He found himself laying on plush carpet instead of rock. Castiel sat up confused, he looked around and appeared to be in an office of some sort. He stood, finding himself alone and not just in this room, he could feel that no one else was in the building. He frowned very confused but started to look around for some clue as to where he was. Not that he cared but when you know where you are it's easier to get back to where you were.

After six weeks of not knowing where Cas was Dean was on edge big time and snappy with everyone around him. Look at him too long and he'd bite your head off. He'd go off on his own for days without telling either Sam or Bobby that he was even going. He'd be in an even fouler mood when he came back. Sometimes he'd come back beat to hell and wouldn't let Sam help him.

Bobby and Sam were thoroughly sick of his shit. Both men were seriously worried about the missing angel but no one's been able to find even the slightest clue as to where Castiel is or if he's still alive. Bobby, Sam and Gabriel have been working their asses off looking for the awol angel. But none of them are acting the way Dean is. Well Gabriel is very serious all of a sudden and that in itself scares the hell out Sam. Dean's reaction seems over the top even for him.

Castiel finds a thick stack of papers stapled together on the desk and is about to dismiss it until he see's the title 'Castiel's Dream'. He freezes, staring at his own name. A frown creases his beautiful face. He open's the first page and begins to read. By the time he finishes tears are rolling down the angels face. In this story he got to have Dean only to wake to find he'd been dreaming. He had, had this exact dream several times. Castiel incinerated the offending pages with a thought he was that angry. What sort of cruel place was this ? Why would some one do that to him ? Then he began to wonder if he was in his fathers office and got scared. He just destroyed out of sheer blind anger, pages yes but destruction none the less. Castiel waited but nothing happened, he was still alone as it seemed he was destined to be. Dean had him heart and soul, no one could ever turn Cas's head. Yet Dean didn't want him so yes alone it was, that or dead.

Then a thought occurred to him, what if he wrote it the way he wanted it to be ? Would his father allow that, was that why he was here ? A tiny ember flickered. He almost didn't dare hope that his father had bought him here for that reason but he loved

the hunter so much he was willing to try it. Castiel sat down to write. He wrote the first part the same but when he woke up in the morning his beloved hunter was spooned behind him and very awake.

Cas felt a shift in the air and stopped writing. He felt no one else but waited…nothing. He went back to rewriting the script of his life. He wrote a very erotic love scene to follow that then moved on to a day with Dean. Castiel even wrote in a memory flash back of how they'd gotten together, not wanting that to be a blank moment for either of them. He sat back to reread what he had so far typed into the computer on the desk and new text began appearing that he was not doing. Castiel read the new lines and was thrilled to see that they simply followed on from where he'd left off. He had barely a minute to comprehend this before he felt a massive shift in the air and everything went dark. Castiel felt like he was falling and he cried the only name in his mind "Dean!".

*Reviews very welcome !*


	3. Chapter 3

Castiel's Dream.

Chapter Three.

Castiel sat bolt upright in bed, screaming Dean's name. Moments later he felt strong arms wrap around him, heard Dean's voice at his ear "Cas baby what's wrong?" concern tinging the hunters voice.

"I had a nightmare…it was horrible" sobbed Cas.

Dean cuddles him closer, kissing his cheek and saying "It's ok Cas, I'm here, I've got you"

"That just it, you didn't. I loved you but you didn't love me back but I changed the script after I burnt the real one" babbled Cas.

"Hell baby that's some dream. You know it could never be real don't you? I have always loved you and always will" stated Dean.

Castiel turns to face his hunter, Dean hates seeing such fear in his angels eyes he leans in kissing him tenderly. When the kiss breaks Dean looks into Cas's eyes and says "I love you, only you baby".

Cas smiles at his hunter and replies "I love you too Dean".

Dean grins "I think I need to show you just how much I love you".

"Oh yes I'd like that" grinned his angel.

'Now that's better' thought Dean 'I love that smile'.

He gently pulls Cas into his lap, kissing his bare shoulder and running his hands over his angels back slowly. Castiel nuzzles Dean's neck, hands caressing his sides. "You…taste…so…good" murmured Dean following each word with a kiss. His tongue flicks out and licks his angels ear quickly. Causing Cas to moan. Dean repositions them so that his lover is on his back then he begins kissing, licking and nibbling his way down Cas's body. Stopping every now and then to pay special attention to his favourite spots. Finally he made his way to the angels hardness letting out a soft moan at the sight. His tongue flashes out, licking the head.

"Oh Dean" gasps Cas.

He does it again and again til his angel is almost twitching. Cas is panting his name by the time he takes him into his mouth so when Dean begins to suck, he moans it wantonly. Turning his hunter on more. Dean loves the way his angel reacts to him, loves the tone in his voice as he moans his name. How could he not, this was Cas after all. Dean could feel Cas tensing and slowed his pace so that he wouldn't cum just yet. The hunter released Cas from his mouth to a disappointed moan. He chuckled and said "Far from done with you gorgeous".

Cas spread his legs a little invitingly and Dean moaned. There was no better sight as far as Dean was concerned, his angel naked and wanting him. No better sight in heaven or on earth.

The hunter had made an unconscious decision, he made love to his angel. Slowly, tenderly, gently…knowing it was what Cas needed after such a bad dream. Knowing Cas needed him close, needed to feel as much of Dean as he could. By the time they got to the actual sex, it was languid thrusts so Dean could pause fully sheathed in his lover and savour the feel of him. So Cas in turn could wallow in the sensation of being filled. How do you describe an orgasm that is both soft and intense, gentle and mind blowing all in one ? It shattered them both in the same moment and they clutched at each other, riding it out, lips and tongues welded. Reluctantly they parted, needing to breathe. Two bodies tremble with tiny after shocks, separating with moans of protest at the loss. They hold each other close, foreheads together, eyes closed. Both wishing this moment would last forever, when it was just the two of them and nothing else seemed real but the man you love. Cas felt loved more than he ever had…his fathers love was nothing like this. It had never made him feel the way Dean did…needed.

"Love you so much baby" whispered Dean.

"Love you more Dean" Cas whispered back.

It was the last thing either of them heard before drifting off to sleep in each others arms.


	4. Chapter 4

Castiel's Dream.

Chapter Four.

Bobby, Dean and Castiel sat at Bobby's kitchen table while Sam made breakfast. Bobby sat reading the paper, Dean and Cas sat very close talking low to each other. The sound of wings filled the room causing them to look confused as Cas was already here and he was their only regular angel visitor. Gabriel stood there suddenly "Hey Sammy. Any luck yet?" he asked.

Sam gave the angel a blank look but didn't get to answer him cause Gabe had turned around "Cassie! When did you get back?" he virtually squealed as he bounced over to his brother, hugging him tight.

Dean frowned and said "Cas hasn't been anywhere, are you on drugs Gabriel?"

It was Gabe's turn to frown "Sam…what have I been helping you with the last six weeks?" he asked.

"Nothing Gabe. We haven't seen you" replied Sam.

Gabriel looks at Cas and frowns hard "What have you done Castiel?"

A guilty look creeps over Cas's face but he said defiantly "I…I had to Gabriel. I couldn't go on without him"

"Oh Cassie. Does father know you did this?" replied Gabe.

"What the fuck is going on here?" demanded Dean.

Both angels look at him, Gabriel looks to Castiel, shakes his head and vanishes. Castiel sighs deeply, turning to his hunter he lays a hand on Dean's shoulder and they vanish leaving Sam and Bobby to wonder what had just happened.

Cas took them to a private place knowing Dean wouldn't want his brother or Bobby to hear this conversation. He let go of his hunter and stepped back.

"Spill it Cas" Dean said.

He couldn't look at Dean as he said "You haven't always loved me Dean".

"What? Of course I have" said the hunter.

"Please Dean here me out. You liked me as a friend that's all. I….I did something to make you feel this way about me. I re-wrote the script so you'd feel for me what I feel for you. I'm sorry Dean…I love you so deeply I…I wanted to die without you" Cas sobbed as he slumped to the ground.

The hunter had never been so shocked, he didn't know what to say, do, think or feel. He did know that seeing his angel so upset drove rusty nails through his heart…wait, were these his feelings or one's he'd been given ? Shit ! Then an idea struck him and he asked "Cas, when did you do this? And why did your brother ask Sammy about the last six weeks?".

"I have only recently changed things. I must have been hiding for six weeks before that though…I lost track" the angel replied.

"Gabriel get your feathery ass down here now" yelled Dean.

A flutter of wings and the other angel appeared.

"You called?" he asked with a grin.

"Why do remember and we don't?" asked Dean.

Gabriel shrugs "Angel thing I guess".

"So you can tell your dumb ass brother what I was actually doing the last six weeks then?" said Dean.

"Yeah of course. You were driving us all nuts, pushing yourself to exhaustion looking for Castiel. You beat the stuffing out of every demon you could find trying to find out what happened to him. Hell we almost had to force feed you most days" said Gabriel realising where the hunter was going with this. He could see the absolute shock on Castiel's face.

"Now tell me I love you cause you did a fucking rewrite Cas" snapped Dean.

"I think that's my cue" said Gabe as he vanished.

Castiel sat staring at Dean.

"Well?" said the hunter.

"I looked. There was nothing…I…found no affection for me in your mind" blurted Cas.

Dean gave an exasperated sigh and sat down in the grass with his angel.

"When did you last look Cas?" he asked.

"Months ago" admitted the angel.

"How deep did you look?" asked Dean.

Castiel frowned and tilted his head. Dean shook his.

"Cas, I tend to keep stuff hidden even from myself. My way of not getting hurt I guess. Hide my true feelings away deep inside so they can't be used against me. I didn't know if it was ok to feel this way about an angel so I buried it, I'm sorry" explained Dean.

Castiel began to cry so the hunter pulled him close and held him tight, whispering "It's ok Cas, I've got you".

"I should have looked deeper" sobbed the angel.

A booming voice rings through the air "Yes, child you should have".

"Father?" asks Cas as he turns his tear streaked face up to the sky.

"Yes, Castiel I am here. You've been in my office" stated the voice.

"Yes father I have and I'm sorry" replied Cas.

"Do not be, child. I am sorry I wasn't there at the time. This whole mess was not supposed to happen. What you read was not what I had written for you child, it was what had been. You recognised it as a dream you had, had didn't you?" said the voice.

"Yes father I did" admitted Cas.

"Do not fret Castiel, love makes us do stupid things. I am not angry with you…no damage was done just minor things I now have to adjust" stated the voice.

"Thank you father. I am truly sorry" said the angel.

"Yes my child, I know. I love you Castiel, what will make you my happy angel again?" asked the voice as if it didn't already know.

"I…think I already have it father" said Cas, glancing at his hunter.

"Dean Winchester, hide your feelings for my angel ever again and I will come down there and smite you personally" boomed the voice with a touch of humour.

"Done. While you're here there is one thing I wanted to ask you?" replied Dean.

"Oh and what would that be?" asked the voice.

"I want to marry Cas. Is that cool with you?" stated Dean.

"Dean" gasped Castiel.

"Yes, that is cool with me but remember my warning hunter" answered the voice.

"I will…oh and thanks" said the hunter.

"For what" asked the voice.

"Castiel loving me" replied Dean with a grin.

A deep bass chuckle echoed through the sky and was gone.

Castiel turned to Dean and asked "You want to marry me?".

"More than anything I've ever wanted baby" replied the hunter as he wrapped his arms around his angel. "So will you marry me Cas?".

"Yes Dean, yes of course I will" said Cas in delight.

They kiss tenderly then sit there for awhile enjoying the moment.

*all reviews welcome !*


End file.
